Soul-destroying

So, it’s been a while.  Unfortunately, I am still searching for a job and it’s really become soul-destroying.  I feel as though the end of the tunnel isn’t in sight, and even worse I want to give up.

Last week I went to an interview; it was unlike anything I’d ever been to before and I came out of it feeling as though I hadn’t done well and I was exhausted.  The interview was over an hour, but during this time there was little to no interaction between me and the two interviewers, they asked just six questions and I answered them, but these were no ordinary “what did you do when you worked at this place?” questions, they were the sort of questions that are becoming more and more common in interviews these days, and tell you next to nothing about the person as an individual.

They said that they would provide feedback and a response within the week, so when Friday came around I realised that I hadn’t got it (though being honest I hadn’t expected to given the way that the interview went from my personal perspective) because they hadn’t phoned.  When I finally got a call on Monday afternoon, at the very last minute (just before 5.30) I was already making my dinner and was, admittedly, a little distracted.  I knew that I hadn’t done well in the interview, but to hear “We were seriously disappointed in your performance, it was unenthusiastic, you were negative and unprepared.”

I tried my best in that interview, and I will acknowledge that I was probably negative on the day (30 interviews with no job will do that to a person), but the fact that they were disappointed like parents who have a right to feel that way makes me quite angry.  How dare they use that word?  It’s as though they were expecting something from me that I had never indicated I was going to give.  Seriously!  I have been unemployed now for nearly five months, so surely they expect me to have been to interviews, or do they think I am the sort of person who sits on their arse and expects the state to support them.

The longer you are unemployed the harder it gets to get another job.  You aren’t meant to mention how many interviews you’ve been to, but at the same time, they expect you to tell them what you’ve been doing for the time since you last worked.  You can’t bloody win!

Another point I am angry about is “you were unprepared.”  Really?  I was unprepared for an interview I had spent two days preparing for?  To get told that, when I was blindsided by the sudden change in job description DURING the interview from content writer to trainer really makes me cross.  I have been to a lot of interviews, and never been to one where I had to talk for so long about such seemingly irrelevant stuff.

Oh well, every day is a new day and all that.  I am determined that I am not going to take the critique to heart, I will take the ‘negative’ under advisement – because if the fake smile is growing stiff then I need to do something to fix that.  Unfortunately, I can’t do anything to go back and change the fact that I am unlikely to get another interview at this company for anything else; I also cannot make it so that jobs are there to apply for where there is nothing, but I can ensure that anything I am getting interviews for RIGHT NOW is treated as though it’s my last chance (without seeming desperate) and perform in the interview as though I am an actress auditioning to be in the next Marvel franchise.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s