Do you want a smack?

My nan is truly driving me insane.

Today she has managed to wind me up not once, not twice, but three times…

First time just happened to be first thing this morning. I left a note for her on a letter that I wanted posting. I know that every morning she goes to the post office to get her newspaper (don’t ask!) but I did say “If you aren’t going I will post it later” so it wasn’t as though I was demanding she go…but she expects me to give her this huge scene of thanks.

Second time happened when I checked my bank balance. She knows that I am unemployed but doing my best to find a job – there just aren’t many out there. Every single one I have applied for so far I haven’t even heard a “no” from…as though that’s my fault! Anyway she starts going on about the rent, which happens to be paid up until the first of June (which is almost two months away). I told her that I am hoping to a) hear back from the bank about my loan insurance which should kick in and pay my next loan payments but I haven’t heard anything, and if I don’t then I won’t be able to pay rent when the next lot runs out but preferably b) hoping to find a new job before that point. She starts to tell me how the rent is a priority, and that if I don’t pay I will be out on my ear. I have been doing everything I can to get the rates reduced – but I can’t do anything more than get the forms and find out how to fill them in because she is the householder and therefore it’s all her finances they have to look into – she just doesn’t want to be bothered to fill them in and I can’t do anything about that.

Anyway…third time happened just now. Her sister is here with her two great-grandchildren Katie and Cameron. While I was down there washing up the plate from lunch she asked me to sort out the TV so that the two kids can watch CBBC while my nan and her sister are getting their hair done. I do this and go over to explain to her what I have done so that she can find the channels on her own (since my brother came and fitted the booster box and digital freeview she has been in my room every single night asking me about the bloody thing and I am SICK of explaining it to her). Anyway, I get totally dismissed, she nods her head and almost shoos me away, which makes me feel as though I am nothing more than a fucking lackey. I tried really hard not to lose my temper but she’s made me furious. How dare she just look at me and say “I know I know…” and shoo me away with her hands like I am no better than a servant just because she wants to. I can guarantee this evening she will come up and ask me what I have done and how she can get this channel or another…guess what. She can go and fuck herself if she thinks I am going to explain it to her again!

Furious and desperately trying to control my anger.

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