I have had enough

My hands are shaking and I am currently on the verge of tears. I am |..| that close to calling my lecturer and saying “I quit”. I hate this course with a passion that can only be compared with the passion I put into my fiction writing.

Who gives a FLYING TWO LEGGED FUCK about Robert Owen? Has anyone actually heard of him apart from the people who are forced into reading about him for this bloody course?

I am well into the first day of my two day extension and I have managed the grand total of 115 words (and that’s in over an hour).

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I drop the course that’s it, I have proved I never stick at anything (and I lose the £500 I paid for the course). I don’t drop it and I have to figure out a way to either get out of writing this essay, OR I write the biggest pile of crap ever in existence.

I am so upset about this, and all I get from my nan is “Well what do you want me to do about it?” A few words of encouragement perhaps would be good, or perhaps a “Can I help in any way? What is it about? Can I read it and we can discuss it?” Nope, of course I don’t get that, yet I spend my day off typing up and checking my sister’s assignment after she spends two days with other people looking after her children (one of them being me) to go to my mum’s so they can both discuss her course work…it FUCKING STINKS and I am sick of being the one left out in the cold.

Someone help me before I really do just waste the last four months and drop out for good…

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9 Replies to “I have had enough”

  1. *hugs*

    *kicks essay hard in the groin*

    So what is this stupid paper about? I may or may not be able to help, but the least I can do is lend an ear if you want to talk or rant or something.

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    1. It’s all about a social reformer in the 1800s called Robert Owen, he wrote four essays about how he felt society should be changed…not really that interesting. It has taken me almost all day but I have now managed to write the total of about 1100 words, not that it makes sense. And I also don’t think that it fits the criteria of the question. I just can’t seem to get enthused about it at all and it’s depressing me. At least the next one isn’t about politics or religion!

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      1. Ugh. I’m sorry. I’m sure it makes more sense than you think it does. It’s always hard to tell these things when you’re so close to it (and so hating it, which I don’t blame ya for).

        What’s the course on? I’m curious.

        And congrats on getting through it at least! I figure that’s the hardest part, so yay for you! Hard part: now over. 😉

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      2. I still have 900 words to go, and they will be the worst because now I have to do the conclusion and the body of the assignment. That’s going to be the worst bit. I am the worst procrastinator, if only I hadn’t been so drained this week…

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      3. Ahhh. Well…. good luck? That’s about the best I got, sorry 😦 What always helps me to get through the tough bits of an essay (and the end always is rough) is some combination of: coffee, cookies and bribery.

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      4. Got any idea what I should bribe myself with? I have told myself that if I am not done with this draft by 8 then whatever I do have is what I am handing in. I have come to the conclusion that I am not a ‘write about politics’ kind of girl. Once I have done this I am going to write some smut!

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      5. lol. Smut rocks! As for bribery, sometimes I use fanfic (like, as soon as I finish the paper, I can read or write fic), or tv (if there’s anything new, I won’t let myself watch it until I’m done). Maybe if there’s anything at all you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t had the time, you tell yourself that if you finish this damn thing than no matter if you still don’t have the time or not, you’ll make the time to do this thing for yourself (and any way, it’s always good to treat yourself- especially when you’ve been tortured by a stupid paper for so long).

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      6. And to think that this is my last extension, I have three more papers after this one, each harder than the next…Architecture, Faust, and Schubert! And then an exam. Because of this essay I am already behind on the Architecture, but I am blasted well going to get ahead. Tomorrow though is all mine, I might spend the day in bed, then again I will probably get up, realise I have 50 pages of crap to read about the Victorian style of building and do that instead.

        I think the smut writing is probably the best plan I have had all day 🙂 thank you so much for listening/reading my rants, I have been stressed since I woke up!

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