Yet Again

Am I the only person who can see it? Tonight my mum and sister are going to see Harry Potter – they were meant to be inviting me, but apparently they couldn’t be bothered. My nan can’t see why I would be hurt at being, yet again, left out of their plans. Okay, so they knew I was going on opening day but did that mean that they couldn’t even offer the hand of familial outings and invite me along, I may have said no (but after sitting behind an f*ing moron who took 5 little girls under the age of 6 alone who kept on standing up and caused me to miss a considerable portion of the movie) but it was unlikely.

My nan can’t understand why I feel decidedly hurt by the fact that yet again I have been left out of family plans, am I just a leper, or is it that they just don’t want to spend time with me?

Yep, this is a pity party (and of late I seem to have been having a large number of those) but I am sick to death of being left out, of being the one person who isn’t included in the plans that others seem to be making, unless they need a babysitter. Right now I am trying not to cry at all this, and having been told that maybe it’s because I’m not little (meaning thin, her words not mine) by my nan today I realise that they are ashamed of me, and my shrink has told me that this is something that will likely never change (not the weight, but the shame) I am slowly coming to the very painful revelation that I may as well write off my entire family and try and be less surprised at the fact I am constantly being left out.

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2 Replies to “Yet Again”

  1. Have you said anything about this? To your family, I mean. Because I would before I wrote them off. Not in a hurt was or anything. Merely fact-finding. Like “Do you guys do this because you’re ashamed of me? I’d just like to know before we don’t speak anymore”. Yes, a bit dramatic, but sometimes that’s the only way to go with some folks.

    Hon, I am so sorry they keep wounding you like this.

    *BIG HUGS*

    Like

    1. I actually mentioned it a while ago to my sister in what I considered a personal conversation, and she passed the comment on to my mum. This then started a rather uncomfortable conversation in which my mum said “I love you, but I don’t actually like you all that much…” you’re right it hurts like hell, and I think that writing them off is probably the safest thing I can do for my emotional well-being. I love my family to bits, but there are times when I could quite willingly just go off and leave the lot of them behind.

      Like

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