Hell

I am in hell!

The first thing I thought when I woke up this morning was “let the sinus pain come back”…anything seems better right now than the thought that after finishing work at nearly 7 last night I had to go in again and go through the whole hellish day again (okay, not the exact same day, but all the same…it’s another day at work).

I am trying to be disciplined, do my work, keep my face out of view, make sure I fit in, but I have absolutely no desire to be where I am, especially considering my new role within a team that barely exists on the peripheral of importance. Being totally honest I can’t see the point in my being here.

I am sitting at my desk wondering why I bothered to get up this morning – apart from the fact that I am feeling very hormonal and another few moments in the dream I was having and I would have ended up having a nervous breakdown. I have to ask myself, why do dreams have so much power over our psyche?

Had a nice chat with Laura this morning. It seems we have something more in common, we have technophobe relatives who can barely work their cellphones. My nan seems determined to drive me to the point of insanity, interrupting me every five seconds or so to tell me some inane fact about a relative I couldn’t care less about – why is it she will interrupt me to tell me that one of my cousins (that I haven’t seen in over 10 years) is moving in with her boyfriend of five minutes, but she won’t interrupt me to tell me something important? I think that it must be some kind of old person glitch that I will become more aware of when I reach her age.

I am currently listening to my entire back catalogue of Alanis Morissette, things at work sort of fit the mood that the song words evoke, and I can’t see that changing at any point in the near future.

Oh, and my opinion of Ottakers? I never did get upstairs, but I am sure that is where all the factual books are, so I will get up there soon enough (probably a few weeks before my uni course begins). Apart from the fact that it was a very generic shop without any heart (something I think that a really good bookshop needs) it sold books, it smelled like new books and they had a 3 for 2 offer on…that just about makes up for the lack of heart. I was a bit disappointed that they didn’t have any American authors that I can’t seem to get hold of anywhere else – guess Borders really does still have my soul – but then I am getting used to ordering from Amazon when I can’t find the book elsewhere, and their delivery (while a bit expensive considering they are selling paper) is pretty efficient – that opinion will change if I don’t get HBP before midday on Saturday though.

I have very little news as my life has changed little in the short hours since my last update, but I have had a few ideas on what I am going to do with the unexpected fic that I posted yesterday – a fic I am irritated I was drawn to writing, but then at least it is something else to cross off the ‘to do’ list that has been growing exponentially over the last few months or more. This, at least, means that I have a much shorter post today, which I am sure you are all relieved about – if you even bother to read through what I have babbled on about for the last 600 or so words.

Note to Liz: Thank you…we will have to catch up…if the house-sitting gets too much you know my email address…

Note to Erin: Another person I need to catch up with, I am growing extremely lazy in my old age.

Note to Jess: Email me!

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